Sunday, December 30, 2012

Rape: World of Ravan and Sita?

Is every man a Ravan and every woman a Sita?  The emotional burst out today is so intense such that any statement even remotely questioning womanhood is cursed back. 

Let me put my two cents.

I never gave too much attention to rape cases earlier. I just thought them another incidence of crime. After I was blessed with a daughter, I started taking note of such events, getting worried with horrible thoughts like what if something similar happens to her. I am seen in freedom park of Bangalore more out of fear than concern. I also feel ashamed and regret all those comments which I made on girls during my college days. 

I am thinking a lot for last couple of weeks. Why rape are happening? Why acid attack? What can I do? How can I make my daughter ready to handle difficult situation? What kind of law should be there? etc etc..

I do not support capital punishment. Just award surgical castration with daily compulsory dose of aphrodisiacs and then leave the rapist free. The men, who could not keep themselves in underwear, must face such fate. But, But and But. This should be allowed to happen only  in open and shut case like delhi gang-rape. Any new law for rape should not become another tool of harassment like 498A. 


There can not be absolutely any excuse in the favor of a rapist. Not even in the case when a woman walks nude in front of a man in a completely deserted place. No reason can be a reason to rape a woman. Having said that I will try my best to teach my daughter to not to fall for imported "My Skirt My Freedom" kind of crap. Hope she understand that in the name of freedom and equality, nudity can not be justified. I do not know how India would be after 15-20 years from now, but as of today average Indian man is not used to exposed deep cleavage and popping panty lines like west. He still needs to get used to nudity. 


Hold on, do not jump on me. I do not mean to suppress woman. All I wish that woman understand how to live respectfully in a hostile world. Let me try to give a example. Having pothole-less roads is our right. But we do not get it. When we drive, we do not assume that road would be nice. We accept the reality and maneuver our vehicle so that we are safe. Similarly, you know that not every man is Ram. You go as a meat in front of man-eater, your right to live will not be respected. Either you develop self protection skills (Karate etc) or do not provoke man-eater or both.  

We need to work on character building of society . Writing about teaching your son/brother/father to respect woman would be a repetition. Plenty of reference material is out there in public domain. Yes, there is a urgent need to do that. There is also a need to charterer building of new age girls also. Gone are the days when every woman was Sita. In fact, during the time of Sita there was Suparnkha also who tried to seduce Ram and later Lakman when she could not get Ram. 

Misuse of sexuality, false cases of work-place harassment, made up accusation of rape, un-defend-able allegations of domestic violence -marital rape-impotency are not exception anymore.  In fact they are common thing. This is something to be worried for. 

Man must learn to respect woman, woman must learn to remain respectable. 


Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Mess up and listen


If you know that you are messing up and nobody is bothering, either others have given up or simply you are at a bad place.  
-The Last Lecture

In the first case, you may believe that people do not love you or jealous or non-cooperative etc. Do not play victim. You will victimize yourself. Accept that you have broken the trust. Accept that you didn't respond when given feedback.  Realize that you are the bottleneck to your own progress. Come out of your ego, hesitation,  low-self-esteem or whatever is stopping you; and ask for feedback. Buckle up and start all over again if needed. And yes, listen when you mess up again.

In other case, pack your bags and move to a place where you will be criticized.  Being criticized does not sound good. It hurts stiff dimension of your personality. Learn to take criticism constructively, even if it is done to you in most negative or harsh way, if it makes logical sense.  Do not analyse behavior or intent of a person who criticizes you. That would be utter waste of creative energy. Just extract 'action items' to work upon.

Observe, Learn and Move Forward...
-Subodh


Comments Welcome!

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Premarital Sex: A Bitter Pill?

I was listening to a late night show on FM 104.  In this show, people call the radio jockey and share their personal stuff. Although I found this really stupid, one lady caught my attention who was sharing her story how she was betrayed by her boyfriend while she was two months pregnant. She cried and kept crying  while she mentioned how she begged to boyfriend's mom to get married. She was kicked out of house and was labelled slut. Her boyfriend was getting married with someone else and left the girl alone to make decision whether to go for medical or surgical abortion. 

I could not slept for next few hours. I kept thinking about that girl. I felt pity for her. I felt angery on her why did she slept with him. I became judgmental but could not judge what's right and what's wrong.

I read somewhere that women give sex to have love and men give love to have sex. I guess that's how men and women are designed by almighty. 

The girl must be careful and boy must be responsible.

For men, sex and love are two different things. A woman would find it hard to digest that a man can be truly in love while sleeping with other woman. Sex is just a physical experience.  Man is designed to be polygamous. Social definitions have tamed him. 

Woman loves first, then she loves a lot. And then she forgets herself in her man and sex happens. She is not a man. For her, its not a bodily experience, its peak of emotions, its spiritual. For her, sex is a way to be closest with her man, the man whom she loves. 

A man gets orgasm does not matter how he feels about the woman in bed. Woman gets orgasm when she is in love and find her love truly with her. Sex becomes attached to her soul. If she is betrayed, she goes in guilt as its horrible for her to even imagine herself sleeping with somebody else. So she fights, she curse and yes she begs too. 

If woman believes that relationship is committed, even then man must not have sex with her if he is not sure about his commitment. 

Time has changed and changing a lot & faster. One night stand are becoming acceptable. My observation may have lost its relevance already. I do not know if I have made any sense at all.  But if you fall in a category as I assumed, I repeat, the girl must be careful and boy must be responsible.


Comments welcome!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

" उस रात"

उस रात मैं जब घर पंहुचा तो वो फिर मेरे बिस्तर पर थी| मैंने उसे बहुत दिनों से नजरंदाज़ किया, लेकिन आज मैं निर्णय ले चुका था| आखिर कब तक अपने आप को रोककर रखूँ| मैं भी इंसान हूँ और मेरे अन्दर भी एक जानवर है| और आज वो जानवर जागने वाला था| मैंने कई बार उसको भगाया लेकिन वो फिर भी बार बार मेरे बिस्तर पर आ जाती थी|

मैं आगे बढ़ा, बिस्तर के पास पंहुचा| बिस्तर के एक कोने पर बैठकर मैं उसे घूरने लगा| वो ऐसे ही बिस्तर पर निश्चल पड़ी रही| मुझे थोड़ा आश्चर्य हुआ| मेरे बिस्तर पर आने के बावजूद उसके किसी अंग में कोई हरकत नहीं हुई| मैं सोच में पड़ गया| फिर मैंने सोचा कि छोड़ो यार कौन समय व्यर्थ करे| मैं धीरे धीरे उसकी तरफ बढ़ा| मैं धीरे धीरे उसके इतना पास पहुच गया कि मैं उसको अपने हाथो से छू सकता था||


मैंने उसे कभी इतना करीब से नहीं देखा था| आज उसे जब इतना करीब से देखा तो बदन में सिरहन दौड़ गयी| मन में बस यही ख्याल आया कि रोज रोज ये मेरे बिस्तर पर मौजूद थी और मैंने कभी ध्यान क्यों नहीं दिया| अपने आप पर लज्जा आने लगी| अपनी मर्दानगी पर शक होने लगा| ये भी सोचा कि अगर किसी को पता चला तो मेरा मजाक बन जाएगा|

फिर जैसे कुछ हरकत हुई| ऐसा लगा जैसे वो सकुचाई| मैं जैसे जैसे उसके पास पहुचता वो जैसे और सिमट जाती| उसने मुझे देखा | शायद वो मेरे इरादों को भाप चुकी थी | मैं उसकी तरफ तेजी से बढ़ा, लेकिन वो छिटककर बिस्तर के दूसरे कोने में चली गयी| मैंने तो जैसे प्रण कर लिया था कि इसे आज नहीं छोडूंगा| बहुत सताया इसने| आज मैं हिसाब वसूल करके ही रहूँगा|
मेरी सासें भारी होने लगी| मैं धीरे धीरे उसके और करीब पंहुचा और मैंने अपने हाथ उसके तरफ बढ़ाये| मैंने उसे छूना नहीं चाहता था बल्कि दबोच लेना चाहता था| मसल कर रख देना चाहता था| मेरे अन्दर का हैवान पूरे जोश में था| मैं उसकी तरफ लपका, और वो फिर से छिटक कर बिस्तर के दूसरी तरफ चली गयी| मेरा पुरुषत्व आहत हो गया|

अब मैं आर या पार होना चाहता था| और बर्दाश्त नहीं हो रहा था| मेरे बदन की गर्मी और तनाव हद से पार हो चुका था| मैं बहुत तेजी से उसकी ओर लपका| इस बार मैं कामयाब रहा| मैंने उसे अपने हाथों में दबोच लिया था| मेरी साँसे और भी तेज गति से चलने लगी| मेरे बदन की गर्मी जैसे उसे झुलसा देना चाहती थी|

लेकिन इससे पहले कि मैं उसका कुछ कर पाता....................साली................कमीनी...... मेरे हाथो में अपनी पूँछ छोड़ कर भाग गयी......छिपकली की जात ऐसी ही होती है.....इसकी माँ की आँख....

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Daughter-in-law vs Mother-in-law -1

Couple of years in marriage, and life felt like bullshit. I believed that I am the only sufferer who is going through such pain. The bollywood had such a deep impression on my paradigms that I started considering myself most unfortunate one. Being a mamma's boy made my life even more difficult. The meaning of love for my mom made me more miserable than anything else. In some movie, I saw Mithun da shouting on villain after getting lot of kicks in his butt "Jis maa ki kasam ne mujhe ab tak rok rakha tha, usee maa ki kasam mai tujhe zinda nahee chodunga". Rest was completed by ever lasting impression of song "ye bandhan to pyar ka bandhan hai" from Karan-Arjun.

Few days in marriage. Still in honeymoon hangover. Shit man! these two women don't like each other. I married to a wrong woman, I concluded immediately. Forget about speaking, how can you even think against my mom!!!! I wish I could be blunt to my mom too, but Mithun da stopped me. Anyways, life started settling down and I too learnt fundamental of married life.

Years gone, I recall dialogbaazi and can't stop myself laughing. The expert comments made my life tense at that time, but now, LOL!!! Here I go.

  • Hamare bachche to kabhee itna nahee rote the, pataa nahee ye Harshi mein (My daughter) aadat kahaa se aayee. (Interpretation: Ye roltu aadat maa se aayee hogi)
  • Subodh ne kabhee itna pareshan nahee kiya, ye pataa nahee kispe gayee hai. (Interpretation: My wife's genes are responsible for this)
  • Aajkal ki bahuo se kaam hota kahaa hai. (Sarcasm! Sarcasm! Sarcasm!)
  • Pataa nahee betaa!, teree grahasti kaise chalegee. (Sarcasm with "Atishiyokti Alankar")
  • Mai beewi hoon tumhari, maa nahee. (Clean bowled!)
  • Tumse shaadi tumhari maa se jalee-katee sunane ke liye nahee kee hai.. (Jo ukhadna hai ukhad lo)
Few more observations...
  • Mother is always caring, Saasu is always irritating.
  • I am papa's daughter, you can't be mamma's boy.
  • My dad used to say/do ......

Will come up with more yaadein, soon.... keep visiting...

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

CWC-2011 Semi Final, IND vs PAK: Was it fixed?

India celebrating. Fans on the road. Crackers in the sky. Alcohol in the belly. Sidhdhu laughing like a monster. I am also feeling good but have my own douts when I see from a bookie's eye.

Hell lot of money was bet on two possible outcomes. one, Sachin's century and second India win/loose.

Take the first case. Sachin was allowed to score by dropping his catches. Initial bets were in the favor of Sachin's hundred. Couple of catches dropped. Sachin was not looking in great touch. Most of the people who bet on his century changed side. Bookie made money. Again, Sachin was allowed to cross 80 by repetitively dropping catches. By the time, people started believing that sachin will score century.... oops...he got out. Bookie made money again. :)

Not many were positive for India, when we chocked to 260. Pakistan got a good starts and betting moved in their favor. I still do not understand howcome Misbah kept doing shashtry (remember the Ind-Aus when we lost by 1 run), when asking runrate was jumping.

I feel something is somewhere fishy. If things are fixed, then I believe that India will win the world cup. India wining world cup makes lot of economic sense. Now-a-days, end of the day everything is economics.