Saturday, October 6, 2012

Premarital Sex: A Bitter Pill?

I was listening to a late night show on FM 104.  In this show, people call the radio jockey and share their personal stuff. Although I found this really stupid, one lady caught my attention who was sharing her story how she was betrayed by her boyfriend while she was two months pregnant. She cried and kept crying  while she mentioned how she begged to boyfriend's mom to get married. She was kicked out of house and was labelled slut. Her boyfriend was getting married with someone else and left the girl alone to make decision whether to go for medical or surgical abortion. 

I could not slept for next few hours. I kept thinking about that girl. I felt pity for her. I felt angery on her why did she slept with him. I became judgmental but could not judge what's right and what's wrong.

I read somewhere that women give sex to have love and men give love to have sex. I guess that's how men and women are designed by almighty. 

The girl must be careful and boy must be responsible.

For men, sex and love are two different things. A woman would find it hard to digest that a man can be truly in love while sleeping with other woman. Sex is just a physical experience.  Man is designed to be polygamous. Social definitions have tamed him. 

Woman loves first, then she loves a lot. And then she forgets herself in her man and sex happens. She is not a man. For her, its not a bodily experience, its peak of emotions, its spiritual. For her, sex is a way to be closest with her man, the man whom she loves. 

A man gets orgasm does not matter how he feels about the woman in bed. Woman gets orgasm when she is in love and find her love truly with her. Sex becomes attached to her soul. If she is betrayed, she goes in guilt as its horrible for her to even imagine herself sleeping with somebody else. So she fights, she curse and yes she begs too. 

If woman believes that relationship is committed, even then man must not have sex with her if he is not sure about his commitment. 

Time has changed and changing a lot & faster. One night stand are becoming acceptable. My observation may have lost its relevance already. I do not know if I have made any sense at all.  But if you fall in a category as I assumed, I repeat, the girl must be careful and boy must be responsible.

Comments welcome!


  1. this is a very sensitive topic. specially in India, where people are yet to accept a "single mother".

    We get judgmental towards other very quickly, without understating the situations one must have faced.

    As per my knowledge, by law a girl in live in relationship has same rights as a wife. so this girl you are talking about could have taken support from law.
    but as this in "India" we will judge her first and the case will go on and on without any judgment... sad but true.

  2. So by that logic in arranged marriages where its a transaction in India we are not sure on the commitment so why have sex on first night till the groom and his family shows respect and the way I know of many pandit/vadyar in many Indian community looking at horo(r)scope to decide for girl and boy when to exactly have it.Do they even monitor it :just wondering the all in India and despite of all right steps women going thru shit in society being married or not..Dont you feel this is part of bigger issue on how women ate looked upon.